Trump Advisor Says Fortune Cookies Are Witchcraft
Patricia Lage of Holy Spirit Led Ministries is part of Donald Trump's 2024 presidential campaign, a spiritual advisor to Donald Trump. Also, she believes that fortune cookies are dark magic. What gives?
Patricia Lage’s hatred of fortune cookies is a manifestation of her intolerance of any other culture than white Protestant Christian culture. That’s why she also believes that yoga is a form of witchcraft, and dream catchers are witchcraft, and rosary beads are also witchcraft. Yes, Donald Trump’s Christian Nationalists can’t stop themselves from going after other Christians. After they’re done persecuting non-Christians, they’ll go after Christian heresy too.
This episode of the podcast Stop Christian Nationalism includes a new song as part of our series of Country Music Against Christian Nationalism. The name of this song is Fortune Cookie Witchcraft. Can you guess what it’s about?
The lyrics:
There's a woman
a faith healer
says she fights demons
a scene stealer
uses magic to stop the rain
shouts to Jesus to heal your pain
says she can take the dead
out of their graves
and make them live again.
We all know
that's not reality.
No one has magic powers.
There are no spells.
No monsters.
No demons.
No zombies.
But there's more
She says fortune cookies
are a kind of witchcraft.
She says fortune cookies
are an evil spell and that
if you eat fortune cookies
you'll go to hell
because those fortune cookies
are made by witches.
Not the cute kind
but the evil kind
that consorts
with Satan.
Fortune cookie witches
are going to get you.
Fortune cookie witches
will take you to hell.
So this woman
who is afraid of evil cookies.
is not a normal kind
of religious kooky.
She's part of Donald Trump's campaign
Trump has mentioned her by name
She is helping Donald Trump
climb out of his grave
to become President again.
She says fortune cookies
are a kind of witchcraft.
She says fortune cookies
are an evil spell and that
if you eat fortune cookies
you'll go to hell
because those fortune cookies
are made by witches.
Not the cute kind
but the evil kind
that consorts
with Satan.
I don't want
a President
who gets
advice
from
crazy people
who believe
fortune cookies
are evil
the work of the Devil.
I want a President
who lives in reality.
No Donald Trump
for me.
Please.